The past week or so I’ve been wrestling with the idea that I’m weak. When I say I'm wrestling... It’s not like I’m just trying to convince myself that “I’m not weak. I’m strong.” but rather, I’m frustrated with myself. I'm having thoughts like “I hate that I’m so weak” or “I’m failing because of weakness in this area of my life”.
To be honest, I've been feeling defeated on the daily because of my imperfections, flaws & short-comings. I know we've all been here. Some days are worse than others. When I feel the weakness setting in I have to make a decision to either speak life over myself & fight the internal feelings "Hello, faith. Nice to see you again." or give in to the feelings of inadequacy "Hello, defeat. Could've stayed away a bit longer, but here we are".
It's an overused phrase but seriously... The struggle is real.
I think the trick to all of this, is finding a balance. I guess most people would think the answer is to just kick the weakness out the door. Put on that brave face. Be strong. I agree that we should be trying to improve ourselves continuously. I agree that we should be on a journey to become better people. I agree that we should not settle into our issues and think it's ok. But what about this scripture:
II Cor 12:10 says that “for the sake of Christ, I am well pleased and take pleasure in infirmities, insults, hardships, persecutions, perplexities and distresses; for when I am weak [in human strength], then am I [truly] strong (able, powerful in divine strength).
So, there is something to be said about embracing my weakness to allow God's strength to shine. There is a side of me screaming that this is all wrong. Imperfections must be hidden!! Faults must be conquered! But what if for just a moment in my life, I relax into my short-comings knowing that God will be made strong in my weakness. That's a glory I don't want to rob Him of by being strong all on my own.
To take this thought further, I'll reference my daughter. It makes me feel nothing short of Super Woman (albeit a very tired version) that in the middle of the night, when she cries out to me from her crib, there is nothing that will calm her faster than my arms picking her up and holding her. How much more does the Creator of us want to feel needed from His masterpiece (Eph 2:10). He created us for this interaction. He loves to be needed by me.
So I'm coming to grips with the fact that I am weak. I struggle. I fail. But in those moments I will lean on the undeniable strength that is Christ Jesus. Be encouraged, friends! Our faults are not our full definition, they're more like little introductions to Christ in our lives.